[	mood	|	thoughtful	]
[	music	|	Ben Fold's	]

As school starts to become routine, everything is falling in place. I'm surprisingly optimistic of the new year because what the hell, need to try new things.

I wonder about how easily the world that protects us can fall apart.

I feel guilty and ashamed when I imagine how intensly  frustrated  I become over such trivial matters when right now people from New Orleans don't even have a roof covering their heads. I think I'm going to go help with the Red Cross.

How easily we want what we can't easily have. Uncanny isn't it. But some things that we have right in front of us,  we don't appreciate. Human nature. What a shame.

I also have seen hypocrisy in so many people including myself. I realized how provincial and narrow minded some people are not out of arrogance but more out of ignorance. People cry about the hurricane victims in New Orleans but did not even truly comprehend the devastation of the tsunami. But then I consider that it's not their fault anyways. When something is closer to home, it hits harder. 

Summer ended so suddenly. I wish sometimes that I could go back to the days where nothing mattered. Rainy afternoons spent sitting on the couch reading, slowly fading into the distance and traveling to a world far away from the present.

I'm taking spanish literature. I enjoy the literature but not the class. I miss sophomore year, but maybe junior year will be better. Mrs. Baldwin is wonderfully refreshing. I love that class, and the funny people in it. This year I seem to be getting closer to people that I never thought I would be friends with; funny how we change and grow as we get older.

I had a lot of plans for how I was going to do so many things. But I don't no. You can aim for perfection or just slide along. Debate is another matter. I don't no what to do. I love tournaments and competing, but I'm not so sure if the whole environment is one that is nurturing and suitable for me. I know that if I quit I'll miss having a source where I can express my feelings, but then I know that I will have more time for things that matter. I'm so undecisive. Maybe I'll go to one tournament and win it all. A girl can dream.

I love earrings, and I want more.  

Enough lj for me now.

[	mood	|	contemplative	]
[	music	|	Belle and Sebastian~Step into my office, Baby	]

Can you believe the year is almost over!! It completely astounds me. Time went by without me on board, but over the course of this year I have grown a lot as a person and an individual. I have learned somuch and gained a tremendous amount of perception and knowledge on how exactly this world works. But more importantly, I have learned that time goes by. In this year, I could have definitely enjoyed myself a lot more than I did, but with all my focus on petty details, I let time slip away. From this experience I have come out realizing that there is no point on worrying and stressing on silly things that wont matter. To hell with the stress and pressure. A whole year has passed by; if time continues this quickly and we don't enjoy what is passing us, then how many good moments are we going to have? What will we actually accomplish in self-fulfillment? I now realize as the over used cliche says Live for the moment, (and cliches must have a point if they are a cliche) that there is no point on living in a reality where you dread life and its challenges. It's much more suitable to actually try to enjoy the time we have as it's definitely short and make the best of it we can, and if that means limiting stress, it seems like a good thing! :p

Also I have come to see as time goes on so do relationships. Over the years I have made many friends- some have drifted away with the test of time and distance and others are still as close as they always have been. But I have realized that no matter who the friend is, all of them that are leaving are going to be tremendously missed. I mean friends are what makes the world worthwhile and relationships are the building blocks of society, so they are defintely a significant part of life. But for all my friends that are leaving or have drifted away, I <3 all of you for each of your unique characteristics and personality. And the ones that are leaving, I don't know how the parts of my life that included you will go on, and I feel sheer anxiety for the future of those parts. But I also feel hopeful and optimistic for ya'll. Better things are coming your way, the world is a big place and is full of opportunity for all of you to thrive on. I just want you to know that for all of my friends out there and even the people that I just know but never got the chance to appreciate, I hope the best and I know you will do great things for the world!!

With this also comes my desire to change for the better. I hope to be a much more pleasant person next year, cherishing every moment instead of worrying about simple details and imperfections. Instead of making a molehill into a mountain, I will try to appreciate every molehill for how it will improve my character. And to all of you a simple message and an overused cliche but what all of us can learn from:

Sing as if nobody is listening.
Dance as if nobody is watching.
Love as if you've never been hurt.
Live as if Heaven is on Earth.

[	mood	|	exhausted	]
[	music	|	Oasis~Wonderwall	]

I have come to the conclusion that I am definitely not a morning person. Last night I slept late drinking coffee and doing my homework, a consequence of my procrastination. Anyways this morning was hell; my mind was numb and my body felt paralyzed. I was about not to go but then my excessive absences came to mind, which convinced me thatI must go to zero hour (I corrected it lol) I also don't see the point in going to that class, to tell you the truth; I believe it should be optional. As long as you are making an A, you should be able to miss a day or two. Because no offense to the class, but it is so dreary and routine. I just wished that there could be a change and for a few days we could just skip, but next week that is the case! WOOT! But on to the rest of the day. The math test was completely ridiculous. It was extremely long and arduous and painstakingly detailed. And spanish was another flop, but the rest of the day was wonderful. Though it seemed to drag, I wasn't conscious of it as I was in dreamland most of the day. Comp sci miraculously was the best class; all i did was play tetris over and over again. It was pure bliss. Ohh and I'm now the admirable treasurer of our wonderful Spanish Club. YeAh!

ThE pHaNtOm Of ThE oPeRa SoUnDtRaCk iS nirvana

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe."

                                                                                 - H. G. Wells (1866-1946)